It ended up not working having one wrap around my wrist, so I chose to change it to just have it small on my lower arm. It ended up looking like this...
Many people are asking what the significance of this is, and I love answering. It's a HUGE part of my testimony.
"As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in My love."
John 15:9
You see, I had a very legalisic view of Chrisianiy for the majority of my life. I viewed God as somene who was there to tell me how to live, and punish me if I didn't meet His standards. As a person who often felt like the black sheep, never meeting anyone's standards, He wasn't appealing to me. I've never been one to follow instructions; I can be stubborn that way. I enjoy doing things differently than everyone else and taking risks. Christianity seemed hypocritical, and frankly boring. Coming from a Christian family, and having gone to a private Christian school my entire life, it became commonplace for me, and hating the commonplace I challenged it. I saw how other Chrisitans lived, and it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to travel, make music, get tattoos (ironically), have deep friendships, fall madly in love, and eventually start a family. I wanted to make an influence in people's lives. Not go to the same church every week, in the same town, hanging with the same judgmenal people telling me to repent because I sin differently than them, while going to a prestigious college because that's what a "good Christian does," and eventually being a stay at home mom with 2 and 1/2 kids, homeschooling all of them (because they need to be "holy" too). Not that all those things are wrong, many of them are fantastic! It just so wasn't what I wanted. It seemed fake and safe to me.
What I didn't realize is Christianity doesn't have to look like that. It's abiding with the Creator of the Univers and having a crazy love relationship with Him; it is FAR from boring. It took me 18 years to figure out that God isn't just there when we mess up. Christ died; we no longer need to prove anything. For by grace you have been saved, through faith. Yes, that faith can and will produce a love for God that will bring about good works, and part of abiding with Christ is spending time with Him in His Word and prayer. But that's not what saves, and it is absolutely not our place to judge anyone. Us Christians have nothing to boast about. We need to constantly be looking to the cross and remembering we are nothing without it. We need to remember that nothing we do matters if it's not about loving God and the people He has made. And how we do that is going to look different for each believer. We can't all look the same if we're going to influence and change our culture. We need to reach out.
Since I became a Christian almost 3 years ago God has taken me on the adventure of a lifetime. I've gotten to go on trips to Mexico and Haiti, and have moved three different times (once to Ellensburg, back to Yakima, and then to Cannon Beach). Since graduating I've not only changed schools, but my whole focus; from going to Central to become an elementary teacher to going to Ecola Bible School, something I swore to myself I would never do (I had enough of Christian schools, or so I thought!). It's been a crazy ride, and plans have changed so many times. I'm learning how to be a leader and serve through worship, kids ministry, and speaking truth into peoples lives. I may still not do things the way everyone else does, But God is GOOD, and He guides my steps with a purpose I can't even begin to understand. I'm continuing to learn how real and trustworthy my God is, and it's a beautiful thing. To quote Dave Jackman and many others, "that's a Praise Jesus!!!"
That's what Abide means. It means I'm nothing, and Jesus is everything. It is a constant reminder to stay in His love and go where He leads. It's also a reminder to me to have genuine faith; to not pretend to be any better or worse than I am but to be real about where I'm at. That my hope is in Christ alone. He is my light, my strength, my song.
1 comment:
Love that Katherine!! :)
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